1. "LIFE: It’s weird, right?"
    — Uncle Chester
     

  2. "The best blogs are on the internet."
    — Uncle Chester
     

  3. "Wait, is it that kids ARE the future or that kids are FROM the future? Either way, kids, can you tell me if Jams will really ever be IN again?"
    — Uncle Chester
     
  4. Worlds are colliding!

     

  5. "I’m still writing Good Friday on my checks."
    — Uncle C.
     

  6. "Easter is just a racket put on by the Paas companies. Passover is just a racket put on by the empty chair companies."
    — Uncle C.
     

  7. "Black smoke coming out of my ass means no poop."
    — Uncle C.
     

  8. "IDEA: a janitorial supply company called “Bucket List”"
    — Uncle C.
     

  9. "Halloween costume idea: Bruce Hornsby"
    — Uncle C.
     

  10. "halloween costume idea: sexy umbrella"
    — Uncle C.
     

  11. "Halloween costume idea: horrible, horrible depression"
    — Uncle C.
     

  12. "Halloween costume idea: Condoleezza Pasta"
    — Uncle C.
     

  13. "Is it me, or is the mirror REALLY attractive?"
    — Uncle C.
     

  14. "Soup is just fancy water. Toast is just fancy bread."
    — Uncle C.
     

  15. "Dancing is just fancy walking. Walking is just fancy standing."
    — Uncle C.