The Almanac of Record. “Pyramids are real!” All words and apparent wisdom written and copyright 2011 by Uncle Chester in Portland, Oregon, U.S.A.Uncle Chester's AlmanacTumblr (3.0; @unclechester)http://www.scenester.com/"Sexy Sequels: Dreams of Your Mother"“Sexy Sequels: Dreams of Your Mother”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/18196110527http://www.scenester.com/post/18196110527Fri, 24 Feb 2012 10:03:05 -0800sequelssexydreams of my fatherbookslol"Even Earth only gets one day a year."“Even Earth only gets one day a year.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/18179585640http://www.scenester.com/post/18179585640Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:25:50 -0800earthearth dayholidaylol"Halloween costume idea: Chandler Bing.com"“Halloween costume idea: Chandler Bing.com”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/18137069647http://www.scenester.com/post/18137069647Thu, 23 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800halloweenfriendschandler bingbingbing.comlol"Brother from another Mother actually unrelated."“Brother from another Mother actually unrelated.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/18078091082http://www.scenester.com/post/18078091082Wed, 22 Feb 2012 10:03:06 -0800brothermotherlol"Are we in the future yet that Dippin’ Dots is the ice cream of? Or will all food be dot shaped..."“Are we in the future yet that Dippin’ Dots is the ice cream of? Or will all food be dot shaped then?”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/18017794730http://www.scenester.com/post/18017794730Tue, 21 Feb 2012 10:08:35 -0800ice creamthe futuredippin' dotslol"Gaze in the Military."“Gaze in the Military.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17978147244http://www.scenester.com/post/17978147244Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:07:36 -0800militarygay rightsgaylol"bad hearing quotes: ‘Look… I am your fodder!’"“bad hearing quotes: ‘Look… I am your fodder!’”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17791119448http://www.scenester.com/post/17791119448Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:00:13 -0800star warsquoteslol"Spoiler Alert: your fridge is broke"“Spoiler Alert: your fridge is broke”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17630073279http://www.scenester.com/post/17630073279Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:22:12 -0800spoiler alertfridgelolspoiler"They should remake Cheers from Vera’s point of view in which you never see Norm."“They should remake Cheers from Vera’s point of view in which you never see Norm.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17622676090http://www.scenester.com/post/17622676090Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:07:46 -0800CheersNormVeraBeerTVlol"Close friend really just closest neighbor."“Close friend really just closest neighbor.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17613226885http://www.scenester.com/post/17613226885Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:02:06 -0800lolfriendsjokesneighbor"Arbor Day is like Christmas to trees. Christmas is like a day of mass death to trees. Thanksgiving..."“Arbor Day is like Christmas to trees. Christmas is like a day of mass death to trees. Thanksgiving doesn’t really matter to trees.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127404http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127404Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800lolchristmasarbor daytreeesthanksgivingholiday"If I was in the ad biz, as they say, and my client was De Beers selling gold heart-shaped pendants..."“If I was in the ad biz, as they say, and my client was De Beers selling gold heart-shaped pendants for like Valentine’s Day, and let’s suppose they were going for the adulterous-rich-male clientele, i would suggest the slogan, ‘Hook her with a heart of gold’.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127748http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127748Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800lolvalentinesgiftsde beers"Friend spending the night at your house makes up for the free room and board by doing the dishes."“Friend spending the night at your house makes up for the free room and board by doing the dishes.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127635http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127635Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800lolfrienddisheschores"Huey Lewis and the Nudes. …..Am i RIGHT?!!?"“Huey Lewis and the Nudes. …..Am i RIGHT?!!?”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127686http://www.scenester.com/post/17558127686Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800lolhuey lewis and the news80s"For a weatherman there is no small talk."“For a weatherman there is no small talk.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17543819016http://www.scenester.com/post/17543819016Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:03:06 -0800lolweathersmall talktalktalking"Men and women have differences, reports local physician."“Men and women have differences, reports local physician.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17497576974http://www.scenester.com/post/17497576974Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:04:05 -0800men and womenloljokes"Bad Stripper Name: Sexual Carob"“Bad Stripper Name: Sexual Carob”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17497577456http://www.scenester.com/post/17497577456Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:04:05 -0800lolcarobstrippernames"I’ve never felt so alone…as i do on Google+."“I’ve never felt so alone…as i do on Google+.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17435142562http://www.scenester.com/post/17435142562Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:03:05 -0800lolgoogle+mealone"‎’Second Becky’ is definitely my go-to band name."“‎’Second Becky’ is definitely my go-to band name.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17378215118http://www.scenester.com/post/17378215118Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800second beckybandsband namelolmusic"Rank is a good word. You either have achieved something honorable or you smell."“Rank is a good word. You either have achieved something honorable or you smell.”<br/><br/> - <em>Uncle C.</em>http://www.scenester.com/post/17324712805http://www.scenester.com/post/17324712805Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:02:05 -0800lolranksmell